If you want to live a more fulfilling and vibrant life, you must use your unique gifts and talents in a meaningful way.
The truth is, we’re all sparks of creation and possibility. We all have unlimited potential, but each of us expresses it in unique ways.
The thing is that most of us are using our skills, our knowledge and our attention in ways that are not aligned with our dreams, desires and wellbeing.
Think about all the ideas, conversations and content we consume in the direction of drama, hopelessness and division.
Think of some of the companies we work for, the jobs we do and the circles we mix in.
Think of some of the choices we make on a daily basis, from what we buy, to what we eat, how we spend our time and everything in-between.
Are these a match to a life of love, joy, wellbeing and contribution, or are they serving a different, darker vision?
Are they an expression of your power, the love in your heart and the highest vision for your self and the world around you? Or are they a version of fear and self-sabotage?
Your gifts and talents are already being used to create something. If it’s not what you want, then it’s time to change direction.
Part of the reason why the world is in such disarray is because the majority of people on earth are living trapped in fear and limitation.
Yes, there’s an entire system seducing us collectively into (and profiting from) hopelessness and complacency. But we have the power to change it.
We just need to hold and be of service to a healthier vision for our personal and collective lives. Then, do the inner work it takes to get us out of the slump.
What we need to contend with are the limiting beliefs we inherited about ourselves, others, the world, our worth and what’s possible. In many cases the result of trauma we endured at different points of life.
Thank goodness these can be changed.
I want to share this passage from the book “The Biology of Belief”, by Dr Bruce Lipton, which speaks to the importance of addressing our disempowering beliefs to change the course of our lives (and the planet):
“(…) We think we are running our lives with the wishes, desires, and aspirations created by our conscious mind.
When we struggle or fail to obtain our goals, we are generally led to conclude that we are victims of outside forces preventing us from reaching our destination.
However, neuroscience has now established that the conscious mind runs the show, at best, only about 5 percent of the time.
It turns out that the programs acquired by the subconscious mind shape 95 percent or more of our life experiences. (…) We are completely unaware that our subconscious minds are making our everyday decisions.
Our lives are essentially a printout of our subconscious programs, behaviours that are fundamentally acquired from others (our parents, family and community) before we were six years old.
As psychologists recognize, a majority of these developmental programs are limiting and disempowering.
(…) The profoundly important fact is that disempowering programs in the subconscious mind can be quickly rewritten using techniques such as hypnotherapy, affirmations, body-centred therapies, and a large number of new modalities collectively referred to as “energy psychology.”
While our life stories are unique, with many of us having faced unspeakable trauma and hardship, there are many scientifically proven, accessible ways to get us back into our power.
Our job is to commit fully to our healing and expansion and keep showing up.
To finish today’s post, here’s a short reflection I’d love you to do with me. Answering these questions will give you valuable insights you can put into practice.
Ask yourself…
What’s the most beautiful vision I hold for myself and my life?
If I believed I were worthy and good enough, what work would I do?
If I believed anything was possible for me, what changes would I make in my life right now?
What’s the healthiest, most beautiful vision I hold for the world around me?
How can I help and how can I serve myself and others with my unique gifts and talents?
I’d love you to share your answers in the comments below.
Love,
Chopra Meditation Instructor™ Theta Healing Practitioner® & Author of the children’s book “The Magic of Who You Are”
P.S. ThetaHealing® is a powerful technique that helps you shift limiting beliefs quickly and in a nourishing way. Learn more here.
As I type these words, it’s hard not to feel startled with the state of the world, where we stand as a society.
It’s even harder to try and reconcile it with the contrasting sense of vibrance I feel every day in my own skin.
My sense of perspective means that I do see an invisible order in the chaos, but my sanity pulls me towards calling out the profound level of dysfunction of the times we live in.
You can be peaceful, vibrant, fully alive AND still recognise insanity when you see it.
But simply recognising it isn’t enough. I believe it’s our purpose and duty to take action towards steering the ship in a healthier direction. Starting with ourselves first.
Today’s post is not a philosophical ramble, but an attempt to make the case for personal healing and carving out a vibrant way of existing in the world, no matter how broken it seems.
Not just as the only sane way to live our lives but as a vehicle to bring about much needed harmony to our communities.
So today I pose this question:
Is a vibrant existence possible inside our toxic culture?
The answer is a definite yes.
In fact, it’s the only way to shape our culture away from pathology, into the supportive, healthy, nurturing and empowering structure it needs to be for us to thrive.
But here’s why it seems out of reach for the majority of us…
We’re being collectively sucked into a hollow way of existence, at head spinning velocity.
Every day life is being stripped out of meaning, integrity, purpose and connection. It’s hard to be alive today without feeling exploited and unprotected in some way.
Materialism is taking hold at uncontrollable speed and almost every aspect of our lives is being commoditised.
Mostly as a byproduct of an economic system that relies on and pushes a deep disconnection with our own humanity and our true essence.
We’re being reduced to data points, zombified with superficial thrills. Our very consciousness exploited for profit and highjacked to keep us addicted, alienated, lonely, stressed, unhealthy, disconnected from one another and asleep.
I can’t think of a bigger assault on our humanity than what’s happening before our very eyes; what’s worse, with our willing participation.
We’ve bought into ideas about ourselves and each other that completely contradict who we truly are as human beings.
It’s as if we’ve collectively forgotten the power of the human spirit, imagination, ingenuity and what we’re truly capable of.
As Deepak Chopra says, “we’ve traded the true self for the selfie.” What an accurate description…
The only way forward is to learn, realise or perhaps simply remember, that we have the power to change this paradigm.
Our frazzled, depleted state is not normal
Running around like headless chickens, doing things we don’t love, chasing the next external pursuit, uninspired and out of energy. Racing mind, broken heart, trying to keep our heads above water, longing for something better.
Entrenched in our positions. Divided, fearful and anxious. Feeling average at best; hopeless and in despair at worst.
This state is not how we’re meant to operate but it has been completely normalised. And because there are millions (perhaps billions) of us living like this, we’ve been tricked into believing this is just the way modern life is. And the best we can do.
This is such a harmful, pervasive perspective, not only because it’s not true, but because it’s making many of us ignorant and complacent when it comes to our own wellbeing and that of those around us.
I’ve recently finished reading Dr Gabor Maté’s latest book “The Myth of Normal” and, while it’s hard to single out any particular parts (because of how brilliant and deep this book is), I’ll share this passage with you:
“Lacking, we might say, by design: qualities like love, trust, caring, social conscience, and engagement are inevitable casualties – “sunk costs,” in capitalist argot – of a culture that prizes acquisition above all else. A society that fails to value communality – our need to belong, to care for one another, and to feel caring energy flowing toward us – is a society facing away from the essence of what it means to be human. Pathology cannot but ensue. To say so is not a moral assertion but an objective assessment. “When people start to lose a sense of meaning and get disconnected, that’s where disease comes from, that’s where breakdown in our health – mental, physical, social health – occurs,” the psychiatrist and neuroscientist Bruce Perry told me. If a gene or virus were found that caused the same impacts on the population’s well-being as disconnection does, news of it would bellow from front-page headlines. Because it transpires on so many levels and so pervasively, we almost take it for granted; it is the water we swim in. We are steeped in the normalized myth that we are, each of us, mere individuals striving to attain private goals. The more we define ourselves that way, the more estranged we become from vital aspects of who we are and what we need to be healthy.”
There’s so much to unpack here, more than a humble blog post affords. But there are a few key points I want to bring to you here.
Just because there is a strong pull from our culture in this direction, it doesn’t mean we can’t counter it. In fact, it’s urgent that we do so.
And we must remember that we have the power to do so, no matter how hard our circumstances are.
We must start by acknowledging that the way we feel is not normal; it’s rooted in unprocessed pain and trauma we carry from childhood and compounded stress from life experiences.
Add to it every day stressors due to the way we live, the way we work, our culture’s programming and you have a recipe for how we experience life as a result.
All of this has a huge impact on our wellbeing. The heavier the load, the less we experience joy, connection, passion, inspiration, love and everything that makes life worth living.
Does it really have to be that way? Definitely not! Yet we’ve collectively bought into disempowering ideas that are keeping us stuck in our suffering.
It’s time we wake up.
Reclaiming your wellbeing
It’s tempting to look away from our pain. In some ways, it’s almost easier to cope with it in the many unhealthy ways we do. Including our hiding behind labels, diagnosis and beliefs that we’re so broken that we’re beyond healing.
But we’re fooling ourselves. On giving up on ourselves and the quest for a beautiful life experience, we pay the ultimate price of wasting our lives to drama, negative patterns and suffering. And what’s worse, we help perpetuate our collective status quo.
The truth is, no matter how awful, harsh and unspeakable our life experiences might have been, we CAN recover, heal and go on to create a whole and beautiful experience.
We just have to seek the support that’s right for us and go on to do the work required.
And this includes sometimes trying things that don’t work. This is where a lot of us can lose faith in the process and mistakenly believe that things will never get better.
But if we keep asking questions and doing the work, we will eventually find the tools and support that will bring us back to wholeness.
This work requires confronting the disempowering (often debilitating) meaning we assigned to difficult experiences, process them fully and assign a new meaning that will free us up and allow us to create a new future.
It also requires liberating the body from the impact of these experiences (the work of Dr Bessel Van der Kolk and his brilliant book “The body keeps the score”is an excellent reference if you want to understand this better).
But here’s the good news. We come equipped with everything we need to heal as science is starting to demonstrate.
Taking a step further: transcending stressful thoughts and embodying a new state
On our quest to create a more peaceful, joyful and vibrant internal state, we must go beyond managing difficult emotions.
Yes, these tools can be useful, even life saving, but we must go beyond them.
Whatever work we do, must be in service of our personal liberation from a stressful, fearful mind and the weight and influence of our past conditioning.
When the goal is total freedom from our pain (instead of managing or soothing it), we encounter a different set of practices and answers to get us there.
Some of them can be so simple, within reach and will create, over time, a completely different internal landscape.
Your wellbeing is in your hands
If you’ve felt unwell, stressed, anxious or depressed for an extended period of time, it would be easy to fall into a state of hopelessness. In fact, many people do, looking at the sobering mental health statistics around the world.
Equally, if certain destructive, unproductive patterns in your life keep repeating themselves over and over, you might just believe that that’s all life will ever be for you.
But the truth is you have the choice and the power to start reclaiming your wellbeing today.
It starts with the decision, commitment and conviction that you will do and find what it takes to get better.
Are you ready to draw a line in the sand?
Start today: 4 gentle, yet powerful ways to reclaim your wellbeing
There are so many gentle, yet powerful and effective ways you can start transforming your internal state.
Start meditating – I can’t emphasise this enough. Meditation is a powerful tool that can have a profound impact on your wellbeing. It has countless, scientifically proven benefits.
For example, it turns off fight or flight, calms your nervous system and floods your brain with neurotransmitters associated with happiness. Start with 5 minutes a day and build on from that.
Create an intention for your day, every day – As soon as you wake up, create an intention for your day. State it in the present tense, for example; today I am joyful, today I am compassionate with myself and others, today I make choices that empower me.
This gives your brain the task of creating matching experiences and uses the power of your attention and imagination, which in turns influences the actions you take. It also gives a more productive direction to the mind, even for brief moments.
Take 5 to 10 minutes a day to reflect – Sit quietly for a few minutes and quietly ask yourself these four questions: Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What am I grateful for? This will start connecting you with your awareness and start stripping away your identification with the issues you’re facing.
It’s like a meeting with your wiser self, where the only aim is to notice what arises in the body and your experience as a result of asking the questions.
Use your screen time to watch/listen to experts in wellbeing – We’re all on our devices these days, that’s a given. So take time to listen, read or watch at least one in-depth piece of content by experts in the fields of mental wellbeing, spirituality, neuroscience or personal empowerment (preferably bridged with science).
Some suggestions: Dr Deepak Chopra, Dr Gabor Maté, Dr Joe Dispenza, Eckhart Tolle, Esther Perel, Dr Shefali Tsabary, Dr Bruce Lipton, Byron Katie (add your favourites to the list).
Curating the content we consume can drastically improve our outlook on life. Add to this reducing the amount of time we spend on social media.
Your life is so precious. Are you living your days well? Are you experiencing joy often, are you doing things you love, are you enjoying fulfilling relationships?
If not, and if the tape of life is playing repeated negative scenarios, it’s time to use your power, creativity and imagination in a different direction.
If you start with intention and some of these practices, the how will be shown to you along the way.
And if we all start living in a more wholesome way, our communities and the world will start to look different too. This is the way our toxic culture can heal.
For most of my life, I believed that truly being and living well was a combination of fait, good/bad genes, determination, a lot of hard work, a level of sacrifice and perseverance.
The world around me seemed to affirm this – everyone seemed to be on the same pursuit, chasing something while trying to maintain some sort of sanity along the way.
Struggle was expected and something to be overcome. Stress, disconnection and suffering were simply par for the course.
And it always seemed like a choice between success (especially financial) OR health, joy and wellbeing. One came at the expense of the other.
This view is at the root of a collapsing society and we‘re starting to realise that there needs to be a better way, where the majority choose a more rewarding way to live.
Modern day life is rife with addictions of all kinds, poor mental health and levels of depression are at an all-time high.
But it doesn‘t have to be this way.
More and more people are waking up to the reality that being well and creating a beautiful life is how things were meant to be all along.
And that all success and abundance we could ever wish for come from living a balanced life and favouring flow over stress.
My take is that, if you‘re here reading this, you‘re either ready to embrace ease and grace in your life, or you‘re well on your way to doing so.
I want to share with you this powerful quote by Deepak Chopra, so we can reflect on it together.
“In physics, the law of least action holds that nature favours the shortest path to achieve a result. A tennis ball falls to earth in a simple curve, not a curlicue. An arrow flies straight to the target. Water boils at 212 degrees F. If nature is always this efficient, using the least effort and energy as possible, why do we complicate our lives? The combination of stress, struggle, and needless suffering is the result of a mindset that sees no other way to live. But there has always been another way, as pointed out by the world’s wisdom traditions. Look into them, and you will find some astonishing propositions, including the following: Life was never meant to be a struggle. When you encounter the silent depth of your mind, some problems dissolve automatically while others present new solutions. Your higher self is real and wants only the best for you. A life aligned with the laws of nature is not only easier; it brings love, creativity, and bliss as our birthright.“ – Deepak Chopra
When we live life at the surface level of the mind, always reacting to what happens in our lives throughout the day and what‘s going on around us, it feels chaotic and stressful.
It feels like life is happening to us, and we‘re at the effect of external pressures, day in, day out.
We flood our mind-body system with the chemistry of survival (think adrenaline, cortisol) on a daily basis which contributes to a frazzled state.
This way of living starts planting the seeds of disease and undermines our capacity to access our potential and feel vibrant.
Reacting vs Responding to Life
When we‘re in a calm, relaxed and expansive state, we have the capacity to respond to life in a more powerful way.
When we‘re frazzled, stressed out and burn out, it limits the quality of our thinking which has negative consequences for our overall wellbeing.
So it‘s crucial that you have daily practices in place to access and create a state of flow and serenity that nourishes body and soul.
Obviously, being a Chopra Meditation™ Instructor, I‘m going to unapologetically endorse a daily meditation practice once again – seriously, it brings some serious magic into your life.
But there are 4 tools I‘d like to share with you, to take you away from reactivity and into your power.
Each of these tools is designed for you to access a deeper state of mind, which allows you to think with clarity and access qualities such as love, compassion and creativity.
I created this checklist to explain each one in detail, but here‘s a brief overview:
Cultivate expanded awareness – Practices such as meditation and yoga help you achieve this. The checklist explains how to do it on a moment-by-moment basis.
Pause – Introducing a pause when we notice something counter-productive is about to happen is very powerful.
Breathe – We can use the breath to signal to the body that it‘s ok to relax.
Ask silent questions – this is one of my favourite tools and when you practice using them often, they will become embedded in your mind, which helps you troubleshoot situations on the go.
I imagine a world where the majority of people live by the proposition that we have full power over our wellbeing.
That, at any moment of any given day, we can choose love over fear and possibility over suffering.
Where people get to know the truth of who they are and access the full power of their mind on a daily basis.
This is not to say that life won‘t present its challenges. We‘re not using these tools to bypass or burry our heads in the sand.
This is a matter of transcendence.
When we‘re firmly planted in this perspective, we can go out into the world and interact with each other from a place of wholeness.
Where our suffering is held by our wisdom, found in silence and stillness.
And ease and grace permeate every aspect of our lives.
Gorgeous one, you are powerful beyond measure.
May these tools be useful in getting you closer to the beauty that lives within you.
Love,
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I’d love to invite you to sign up to my mailing list here. Every week I share loving insights & tips on how to reignite your inner spark and I’d love you to join our community!
I don’t know about you, but the chaos of the last few years has been hard to digest.
It seems as though, just as some things seem to get better in the world, we get thrown another collective curve ball.
I’m an optimist at heart and I have a full toolkit to help keep me grounded and my spark and love for life alive and well.
But I see that society is not organised in a way that promotes wellbeing and the full expression of our potential as human beings.
It’s quite the opposite.
We’re socialised on a diet of violence, fear, drama, disenchantment, insecurities and addictions.
The message that you and I (and life itself) are not good enough as we are is exploited for profits and power.
My kids are 5 and 7 and I’ve been noticing how against the grain it is to create an environment of love, empowerment and expansion for them.
Even an innocent game of Minecraft has an underlying level of violence and addiction to it. Children’s movies too.
Some call it low-level, but is there such a thing? And is it actually needed?
Every day we receive thousands of disempowering messages through our screens, the media and other powerful institutions.
No wonder millions of people worldwide feel depressed. Our culture is geared around dimming people’s sparks and it’s time for a change.
That’s why you and I must REBEL! And do everything to empower each other to shine bright.
If enough of us insist on cultivating beauty and power in our own lives, the more this will become the way we all relate to each other as human beings.
Imagine a world designed to keep you vibrant, joyful, creative, connected and in your power.
And I see signs of this materialising all around me. There’s a real yearning from people to live from a place of love, compassion, vitality and creativity.
And the good news is that there are very simple things you can do to have this right now in your daily life.
Today I want to share with you my simple go-tos to experience more joy, love and beauty in my life every single day.
Simple changes in your daily life to have you grounded in a beautiful state
1. Create an uplifting morning routine
From the moment we wake up, we’re either setting ourselves up for joy, or making way for stress and anxiety.
A lot of us start our days with disempowering habits:
Looking at our phones (checking emails, social media and other notifications)
Watching/listening to the news
Snoozing until the very last minute, then rushing out the door
Get through our routine in auto-pilot
All of these habits activate our stress pathways. What’s worse, we’re allowing ourselves to be highjacked by negativity and for external sources to set the tone for our day without our even realising.
Instead, try this:
Start with meditation. If you can’t do 20 minutes, start with 5 and build up to it. This will have you start the day in a state of calm, bliss and spaciousness, before you become exposed to the demands of daily life.
If you have a partner or a pet, enjoy a moment of tenderness with them and really savour it. A good hug does so much for the soul!
Hydrate with water and notice how it feels. This is soooo underrated. Hydrating after a night’s sleep replenishes your body and gives you a chance to pause and be present to its needs.
Keep notifications off on your phone until you’re ready and grounded. This time is yours. Don’t let anyone/anything highjack it.
Set an intention for your day. Use affirmations or simply say out loud how you’d like your day to go. My favourite intention is “I am worthy of the best that love and life have to offer.”
Incorporate movement – from a full-on workout to gentle stretching, dancing to music in the kitchen, going for a walk. Moving gets you present in your body.
Take a mindful shower. Practice noticing the water running through your body, how it feels, notice your breath, inhale the scent of the soap.
Read/listen to something inspiring.
Play uplifting music
Eat nourishing food (if you have an appetite in the morning)
Add yours!
This doesn’t have to be huge or complicated. It can literally take 20 minutes. I have two kids and need to get them to school. Yet, the time between waking up and getting out of the door is infused with joy most of the time.
2. Tweak your day for more joy
Throughout the day we have tons of opportunities to shut down fear and stress and make way for joy and wellbeing.
You already know this, but here’s a reminder of some of the main ways you can explode joy in your day.
Cell Phone usage. Have clear boundaries with news intake, email and social media notifications. Have set periods for checking these and have notifications from apps turned off. This minimises fight or flight response.
Be present to your food. Before preparing or buying your food, ask yourself: what’s the most nourishing food I could give my body right now? After choosing it, be fully present. Eat with someone whose company you enjoy, savour each bite, notice the texture and how it feels in your body. Turn off devices during this time.
Be present to your surroundings. When you notice you’re not present, do a noticing exercise. Name 5 things you can see, something you can touch, something you can smell, sounds you can hear.
3. Swap device time for soul nourishing options
It’s so easy to grab our phones and start scrolling aimlessly as a form of relaxation/entertainment. Because of its addictive nature, it takes a real effort to choose other ways to wind down.
There’s certainly a place for Netflix and scrolling in our lives, but there are 1000 more fulfilling ways to unwind that will leave you feeling wonderful. Here are some of my favourites:
Playing board games (preferably funny ones)
Phone call with a dear friend (not text!)
Reading an uplifting book
Listening to an awesome podcast/audiobook
Taking a long bath
Handwriting love notes and gratitude lists
Dancing in the lounge (see a theme here?)
Picking up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try
Having a meal at the table with our favourite company
Walking in nature
Writing/ drawing/ colouring in)
What’s yours??
Beauty, connection, joy, love, compassion and creativity are on the menu every single day, no matter what’s going on.
But we MUST insist on cultivating it. It’s a choice.
If we don’t do it, we’ll keep being steered, by default, in the direction of fear and hopelessness.
And your spark is too precious and needed to be dimmed that way.
So, what are YOUR ways of stoking your inner fire and getting out of hopelessness?
I’d love to hear what you do to keep your vibes high.
With love,
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I’d love to invite you to sign up to my mailing list here. Every week I share loving insights & tips on how to reignite your inner spark and I’d love you to join our community.
At different times in my life, I’ve felt like I’ve been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
This weight, made up of heavy past, disappointments, unfulfilled dreams and brokenness has visited me in different layers over the years, each time begging me to set myself free a little more.
My gentleness flows
Whether my anger knows it or not
Buried under the blurry thoughts
Running a mile an hour in my head.
I know. I know. I know.
Even when confusion seems to be the only thing I’m clear about
Until I remember where to look.
I get stuck in a dance between my past and the next step forward.
Between my brilliance and my darkest shadow. Looking outward,
knees-deep in muddy waters
Desperately hoping someone else shows me the way out.
But the compass keeps pointing at me
I look around, there’s nobody else.
Just me, my angst and my magic, sitting beside each other.
I pause, tune into the silence, look at the water
Feel the warmth of my knowing in my heart.
It’s there, it’s always there.
Welcome home, I hear.
I am the path, the walker and the destination.
I remember. I forget. I remember.
I close my eyes and I’m home again.
