How do you sustain positive change in the face of challenging environments and difficult life events?
How do you keep your light shining bright when you’re surrounded by people who aren’t aware of theirs?
I’ve spent the last 6.5 weeks reflecting on this as I visited my family in Portugal, where I’m from.
While I had an incredible time, full of love, fun, sunshine, meaningful moments and connection with people I cherish deeply, there were also difficult changes and events to process.
When we go back to the original place we spent our childhood, especially if nothing much has changed around difficult family dynamics, it’s like a baptism by fire.
It’s the perfect testing ground to check whether the internal changes we’ve worked hard for hold up, or whether we revert back to the wounded 7 year old child within us.
Whenever I go back, I notice am reminded of how far I’ve come, how much freer I am in situations that would previously take me off centre.
At the same time though, 7 year old Sofia shows me where she still needs support and new aspects of the past that need to be processed for my greatest good.
As an emigrant, distance has given me the grace to heal and intentionally build a beautiful life. I have adopted new beliefs, changed my behaviours, and purposefully curated my environment for love and possibility.
But what if you don’t have the luxury of distance? What if you’re still dealing closely with complex family dynamics and entanglements?
The truth is that it takes extra effort to stay empowered and in love with your life when people around you are struggling.
When you speak the language of possibility and the people around you live by impossibility, it’s going to be harder to sustain your light. But this is where insisting on it matters the most.
If we want a happy, expansive life, we must break our co-dependence with others and our environment and return to the role of creative director of our experience.
There is very little (if anything) we can control outside of ourselves. But we have 100% control over our internal state and how we respond to people and situations around us.
This is the most important skill we need to develop to live a joyful life.
How do you take that control and keep moving in a positive direction?
- Have a daily practice of changing your inner state from survival /fear to love/possibility. It’s a muscle you need to build daily.
- Reprogram limiting beliefs and replace them with beliefs that support what you’re committed to.
- Heal the imprints of trauma in your mind/body system with modalities that work for you.
- Use your creativity and imagination to play with and take action on your visions and desires.
Building your version of a beautiful life involves making internal changes and recalibrating your choices.
The mind will try to protect what’s familiar, even when it’s hurting you, because it can predict it, which is a vital component to survival.
But we’re not here merely to survive and get by. We’re here to explore life’s joys, opportunities and adventures.
And while there’s chaos, suffering and turmoil around us, it’s important to do what it takes to not get sucked in and, instead, use our creative power to spread more of what we want to see in the world and be a healing presence. Yes, even in the most challenging environments.
Does this mean bypassing, pretending bad things aren’t happening or turning a blind eye? Absolutely not.
It means going to work on healing our wounds and learning how to access our creative power. And then use the fullness of our resources to make a difference in every way we can and become a solutions builder in whichever way we’re called to.
To build the life your heart and soul envision it’s important that you stay connected to your essence and do what it takes to live boldly from it.
The question is, what are you creating? How much of this precious life you were given are you living?
If you have a sense that you’re not making the most of this opportunity, this is your sign to do the work.
